Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
i out mim tonsoeep
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