I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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