R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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