Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
