Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
