adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
