GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
