I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
it's great music for shaving your balls
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
