Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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