the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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