we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
