This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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