youre lurking in front of me
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
