i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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