as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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