bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize