so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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