Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
