i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
