Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
