you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
