wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize
