Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
