She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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