she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize