Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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