Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
