Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
my poor anus
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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