therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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