ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
i believe in u and ur pee
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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