I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Just pee around me
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
