I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize