Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
do herpes really smell.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
