A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
