That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
