"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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