i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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