In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
