What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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