i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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