remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
vagina is talking i cant
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
