I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
