you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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