I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
My vagina just recognized that song.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
