Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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