You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
