how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
