i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Randomize