im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
