When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
