saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
