i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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