K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
