Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
