It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just high enough for therapy.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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