She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize