let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
