No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
