What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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