last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
