he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
