I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
