God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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