This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize