If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
