I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
