have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My balls are so social today.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
