we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
