On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
