Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
