i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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