Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize