It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
