just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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