I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
