How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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