shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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