Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
two words: eviction party
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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