I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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