GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
