it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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