And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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