You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
