someone threw a dead crab at me
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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