There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
