We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
