Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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